2 AFRO DADS - OUR JOURNEY TO PARENTHOOD via SURROGACY

'More Than a Village' - Surrogacy Journery Documentary

2011-07-11T19:57:00.003+01:00

Film Producer Edward Mcdonald is producing a documentary entitled ' More Than A Village' - which features his friend Ian and his partner Troy who are about to begin their Surrogacy Journey.

It's always great to be able to show support for such a worthwhile and joyous journey, we are hoping that you will do the same.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/edwardmcdonald/more-than-a-village-a-tale-of-procreation

Almost 8 Months....

2011-07-11T19:44:00.004+01:00

Big Wave To All Our Blogger Friends........

The girls will be 8 months in 4 days time and continue to add a great amount of joy to our lives.

Anaya now thinks that she is the Madam of the house as she crawls from room to room exploring......slightly leaving her sister Kamryn behind! Kamryn is moving to but hasn't managed to pull up on her knees but instead using her stomach to push along.......She's doing a Seal dance for now! Amazing to see them go!!

Our Girls Continue to Amaze us! 6 Months +

2011-05-31T22:39:00.004+01:00

A big hello to all as a posting from us is long overdue......

I guess we have now settled into normal family life and the consequences of that is all our attention goes to raising the girls.

However here are a few shots of them posing for the camera and playing with sisterly love.

3 months & a bit......

2011-02-28T22:35:00.002Z

We'll write something real soon!

FRRO - The Reality of Leaving!

2011-01-24T19:04:00.002Z

Today we paid a visit to the FRRO - (Foreigners Regional Registration Office) to get our exit visas...

We weren't sure whether we needed to use a fixer or not...what benefit would it bring besides paying him R3000.00....so we decided to go it alone.

We had all the paperwork at hand, except for the letter from the hotel (the Courtyard were slow in delivering on this service)

We woke up late......(won't admit to what time we got there)....but we were supposed to leave the hotel at 9:00am

Right before we left, the hotel handed us the letter stating that we were indeed guests....the envelope was sealed and we thought all was ok.

We arrived at the FRRO - Mumbai to be greeted by the receptionist who checked all of the document, only for her to say that our hotel letter is on blank paper.

WTF......when I looked at the letter in front of her, the duty manager had surely typed it onto white photocopy paper and nicely added his signature.

After 45 minutes of one of us chasing a fax machine and repeated calls to the hotel we were finally able to get the right supporting letter from them. (maybe the fixer could have got us out of the letter bind)

Once back in the FRRO, it took a mere hour or less to complete all the formalities.

1. Enter your details into the online application and print off.

2. Head straight to the assigned desk without waiting for number to be called (Parents & Babies are given priority)

3. Clerk checks over all paperwork and adds baby photo to application, ask a few questions, gives us a docket with the amount to pay ($80.00 each - payable in Rupee's)

4. Return to clerk, where she takes the additional photo's off of you....writes up the travel notices and has them signed by her supervisor.

5. Stamp, Stamp, Stamp.......Thank you your free to go!

The FRRO - Mumbai is really not that scary and surprisingly very easy to navigate.

Big PLUS for giving priority to PARENTS AND BABIES!!

8 Weeks Wait For Passports!

2011-01-22T19:21:00.007Z

After 8 weeks of waiting for our girls passports to be issued, they finally arrived today! This means that we can finally go home.....errr, well once we get the exit visas! FRRO HERE WE COME!

SO NOW WE BID FAREWELL TO MUMBAI AFTER OUR TEN-WEEK STAY.....THIS CHAPTER IN OUR JOURNEY IS CERTAINLY ALMOST CLOSED......

8 Weeks Old

2011-01-16T23:09:00.003Z

Paperwork, Paperwork and Celebrations!

2010-11-27T15:02:00.003Z

Our Girls Birth Certificates arrived 24 hours ago, along with all the supporting documentation needed from our Surrogate Mother to make application for their British Passports.

Therefore the morning was spent, making sure that everything was completed.....all the I's dotted and T's crossed!

C was left to take the Girls to the Pool!

Out the door into 28 degrees of heat I ventured to find a courier....TNT was only a minute away but my luck would have it.....you had to go to another location to send parcels.....

Eventually the location was found, enveloped checked, weighed, seal and made ready for it's delivery to the British High Commission in New Delhi.

Fingers are now crossed that it won't be a long road from here......

But with all that put aside it was time to celebrate.........the BIG 40!

I couldn't have asked for a better gift for my Birthday than my two baby girls.....they are just so perfect in every way!

Pop the Champagne and cut my Indian Sponge Cake!! It's a celebration - C, Me and our Girls!

Day 5 As Parents!

2010-11-20T18:31:00.004Z

We are enjoying every minute of being parents.........and I thinks our girls are laughing at us as we learn new things that go with parenting.

We have to give special mention to the Newborn Babies that we have met thus far:

Harry, son of Will & Michael.....a very handsome baby boy and so happens to have been born on the same day as our girls.

Maya & Thomas - son & daughter of Ula and Saul.....an adorable & beautiful set of twins.

now back to sleep!!!

Introducing our Daughters!!

2010-11-15T09:12:00.004Z

We are happy to announce the birth of our Daughters on November 15th 2010....

and there they are above........................

Kamryn Aneko & Anaya Jaide

November 15th 2010

Born at 38 weeks 4 Days.

4.6lbs and 5.5lbs

Both babies are doing very well and we spent the immediate two hours after birth with them as they were wide awake....and then we moved into our hospital room with our daughters..

What a day of joy it has been!

Thanks to all of you our cyber friends for your continued support and positive comments during our journey!

Leave London Tomorrow for Mumbai

2010-11-10T20:32:00.001Z

We are finally on our way to Mumbai........all we can say at this point is "WATCH THIS SPACE!"

11 Years - Let's Celebrate!

2010-10-30T19:29:00.003+01:00

Tomorrow October 31st - Halloween - Our relationship reaches it's 11th year! Happy Anniversary to us!

In the Gay world this Anniversary equates almost to a heterosexual couple's GOLDEN ANNIVERSARY!

We have enjoyed our time together, learning, laughing, growing, exploring the world and of course at times shouting at each other.......Love has endured!

The time has flown by, but on top of this we are super excited about becoming Daddies!

We can't wait to share our 11 year of love with our kids!

"Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end."

Into 36 Weeks.........and still going!

2010-10-25T16:40:00.004+01:00

We are just about to begin the start line for 36 weeks....with our Surrogate showing no signs of pre-term Labour!

The babies have gained weight which is terrific......

They are just not ready to join us yet.......so we continue to wait!

But we have another milestone coming up this weekend so stay tuned!

Countdown Glitch!

2010-10-18T20:58:00.003+01:00

Just as we thought things were going smoothly.....

The Dr.'s had advised that our Surrogate would have an elective c-section.....perfect for us as it meant working to some kind of schedule.

Dr. Yash and Dr. Varsha both said to arrive in Mumbai for October 25th!

Well we've been probing the Dr.'s with question over the last couple of days so as to have a better indication when the c-section might be schedule for.

We got responses, but felt they were pretty general....and unfortunately general responses don't cut it with us.

We wanted it to be clear that we did not want to sit in Mumbai for a week or two after our initial arrival.....and still no babies delivered!

Yes we are excited but also realize that we will have to remain in Mumbai for several weeks due to the slowness of the British Embassy.

So today after being a pest, the Dr.'s came back to say that they will not do a c-section for another 3 to 4 weeks..

The babies need to FATTEN up some more!

So there it goes...back to the waiting game!

Patience is nowhere to be found when you've reached this point!

Oh Well........

Picture Update

2010-10-06T08:54:00.002+01:00

Our Surrogate on Countdown.............

Tell Us What you THink - Gender Wise that is!

2010-10-04T23:15:00.003+01:00

We are excited.......and we know that you are excited for us........THANK YOU!

As long as we have healthy babies we are happy.....but let's have some gender predictions.

**BOY/BOY

**GIRL/GIRL

**BOY/GIRL

Little Ones are in Pole Position!

2010-10-04T23:04:00.004+01:00

We received a Scan & Report today dated September 23rd.......Everything is going fine and on track.

From the report our little ones are in CEPHALIC PRESENTATION and according to Dr. Google this means the following:

"A cephalic presentation is a situation at childbirth where the fetus is in a longitudinal lie and the head enters the pelvis first"

These guys or girls or guy and girl have positioned themselves for entry into the world!!

Let's see if they find any more room for acrobatic flips!

In 20 More Days we are expected in Mumbai!!

We Have Our Visa's!

2010-09-29T20:24:00.003+01:00

The Indian Visa Process is really straight forward and it takes 3 days......So on Monday our applications were submitted and today we have our passports back....

I guess this is one thing we can now tick on our countdown checklist....

Completed Nursey Awaits Little Ones!

2010-09-18T23:25:00.004+01:00

Preparing to arrive in Mumbai!

2010-09-14T12:37:00.005+01:00

Dr. Yash sent an e-mail this morning with the suggestion that we arrive in Mumbai October 23/24 and prepare for the arrival of our babies the week commencing October 25th.

Yikes that is just around the corner........PANIC BUTTON PLEASE!

Hoping that those little ones hang in there until then!

Now Entering..........The 3rd & Final Trimester!

2010-08-31T21:00:00.001+01:00

OUR NURSERY WALLS...........

2010-08-29T15:40:00.008+01:00

PROGRESS IS BEING MADE ON THE NURSERY.......

As you can see the wall are complete......

Winnie the Pooh and Friends will help to welcome our little ones........

AMERCIANS IN AN UPROAR!

2010-08-21T20:42:00.005+01:00

I came across this article today (Black Men Cuddle on Subway, Web Hits Panic Button)......and it hit a spot close to home.

ALL IN ALL........THAT COULD BE ANOTHER 2 AFRO DADS!

READ THE ARTICLE HERE

Babies are just chillin out!

2010-08-14T21:33:00.003+01:00

The latest scan results landed in the inbox today.......There is always an element of excitement when the e-mails from SI pop in, whilst at the same time a level of disappointment.

The disappointment comes about because the scans are hardly visible!

Babies are continuing to develop on track....in fact they are having fun just chillin out.

Gestational Age is 26 weeks with no obvious anatomical anomalies.

Baby A - Vertex Presentation

Baby B - Transverse Lie

SO THIS IS WHAT THEY ARE DOING AT THE MOMENT..........

ERRR................THE NURSERY!

2010-08-07T21:53:00.006+01:00

BE WARNED!.........THERE IS A NURSERY UNDER CONSTRUCTION!........ OFFICE EQUIPMENT IS MOVING OUT AND THE WALLS HAVE STARTED TRANSFORMING TO SUNSHINE YELLOW!

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

2010-08-05T20:44:00.002+01:00

I guess this would be a easy task if:-

1. You knew the gender of your baby!
2. You were having a singleton!

But with twins and and the factor of not knowing the genders you have to create the combination of 12 names....this includes a first & middle name:

TWO BOYS
TWO GIRLS
ONE BOY/ONE GIRL

Some may take the easy route and choose to have unisex names; however we have gone for the 12 names combination.....

What fun!!

Belly Bump!!

2010-08-04T20:23:00.002+01:00

JUST ANOTHER BELLY SHOT.....NOW IF ONLY THERE COULD BE AN IMPROVEMENT ON THE ULTRASOUND PIC QUALITY!

A THOUSAND WORDS WITH A SMILE!

2010-07-31T08:23:00.003+01:00

23 weeks & 4 Days!

Life is always a rich and steady time when you are waiting for something to happen or to hatch.
-- E.B. White, Charlotte's Web

23 Weeks and Counting!

2010-07-27T12:49:00.003+01:00

Time is ticking....we are waiting....but more importantly BABIES are growing well...........

We are looking for a new set of wheels........and this is what the front-runner is: City Select from Baby Jogger.

http://babyjogger.com/city_select_lp.aspx

DO YOU HAVE THE CITY SELECT?

Progress Update at our 1/2 way point!

2010-06-26T17:10:00.005+01:00

We have basically reached the 1/2 way point in our Surrogates pregnancy....as the full term for twins is 37 Weeks. Our Surrogate is progressing well and the babies are growing each day.

Current Stats Baby#1 / Baby#2

Biparietal Diameter: 3.8 / 3.9
Abdominal Circumference 12.3 / 11.9
Femur Length 2.8 / 2.7
Head Circumference 14.3 / 15.0
Humerus Length 2.6 / 2.6
Foot Length 2.4 / 2.3
Est. Fetal Weight 232 gms / 222 gms

Gestational Age = 18.5 weeks

We are on track for a November Birth..........that's if these little wee one's don't get excited and decide to come early!

Happy Birthday! June 26th 2010

2010-06-26T16:57:00.005+01:00

We have to take a moment to recognize the birthday of our Surrogate (June 26th 2010)...........'HAPPY BIRTHDAY MS. M!'

We're hoping that she enjoys the cake and flowers we sent! (Wish we could have been in India to choose a better arrangement of flowers.....oh well the internet florist & to celebrate with you.)

Happy Father's Day!

2010-06-20T14:07:00.002+01:00

To All The Fathers In Surrogate Land......Happy Father's Day!

Next Year we'll be able to celebrate with you....

"Gary and Tony Have a Baby" - A CNN REPORT - Airs June 24th

2010-06-15T19:40:00.002+01:00

Our in-box seems to be filling these days with all kinds of documentaries on Surrogacy......here is another report by CNN airing on June 24th 2010

"Gary and Tony Have a Baby"

The true story of two gay men, Gary Spino and Tony Brown, and their fight to form a traditional family through surrogacy. Watch Soleday O'Brien's "In america" report: "Gary and Tony Have a baby," June 24 at 8 p.m. ET

A few Clips:

CNN "Gary and Tony Have a Baby" Trailer:

http://bit.ly/ajzXU3

Surrogate Donates Eggs to Gay Couple

http://bit.ly/SurrogateDonates

Stranger Helps Gay Couple Make a Family:

http://bit.ly/StrangerBabyMeta

Gary and Tony Shop For Baby Gear:

http://bit.ly/BabyshopMeta

'GOOGLE BABY' - AN HBO DOCUMENTARY AIRS JUNE 16th 2010

2010-06-14T19:45:00.002+01:00

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE ACCESS TO HBO......'GOOGLE BABY' airs on JUNE 16th.

Director and producer Zippi Brand Frank’s Google Baby follows several men and woman involved in egg donation and surrogacy in the U.S., Israel and India, including:

Doron, an Israeli entrepreneur who was inspired by his own experiences using a surrogate for his daughter’s birth and started a service for “baby production,” using eggs donated from the U.S. and surrogates in India.

Dr. Nayna Patel, who operates a surrogacy clinic in Gujarat, India, and sees her service as “one woman helping another.”

Katherine, a 28-year-old American who has successfully donated eggs, and plans to donate again to help pay for her family’s home remodeling and to add to her growing gun collection.

Two women from Dr. Patel’s clinic: Vaishali, a first-time surrogate who hopes to buy a house with the money she earns, and Diksha, whose first attempt at surrogacy ended in a miscarriage at five months, but wants to try again so that she can better provide for her son.

http://www.hbo.com/documentaries/google-baby/video/trailer.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJNpuaejziY

Not so Secret Anymore!

2010-06-01T21:24:00.003+01:00

My Mom lives outside of the UK, so a few weeks ago I shared the good news of our upcoming parenthood over the telephone....of course she was mildly excited.

This happens to be the year of grandchildren for her as my brother has just had a baby in April....then in November she'll have two more.

However, this week I have the opportunity to visit her, whilst on an overseas business trip. Well, she has outdone the BBC, CNN, CBS and ABC. She has lambasted the news to her co-workers, friends and family.

SHE WAS SIMPLY OVER EXCITED!

It took me a minute or two to understand why folk were saying congratulations....but it soon clicked!

You just have to love your Mom......especially when she is about to become a grandmother again!

A Few Scans to Share......Wee 1 & Wee 2

2010-05-27T20:00:00.002+01:00

12 WEEKS.......END OF 1st TRIMESTER

2010-05-19T20:11:00.006+01:00

We are letting the time pass without being to conscious of TIME (so to speak)......but here we are coming to the end of our 12 weeks.

Think we are almost just about finished Pregnancy 101......this is truly a journey of learning as well!

So this is what our reports say:

Fetal Cardiac Activities and Movements are well Maintained.
Fetal Structures are Well Defined.
Amniotic Fluid is Adequate In Both The Sacs.
Thin Membrane Seen Separating The Two Sacs
Cervical Length is 3.1 cm

Now for the wee wee ones:-

Wee One
CRL 7.12 equal to 13w 2days
FHR 180 bpm

Wee Two
CRL 6.87cm equal to 13w 1days
FHR 180 bpm

AVG GESTATIONAL AGE: - 13w - 14w

EDD:- NOV 19th 2010

The bleed that our Surrogate had has resolved itself!! GREAT NEWS!!

So there we are as we move into the second trimester.

NOVOTEL MUMBAI JUHU BEACH

2010-05-12T22:15:00.004+01:00

ARE YOUR EXPECTING YOUR BABY/IES IN OCTOBER, NOVEMBER or DECEMBER?

ARE YOU CONSIDERING STAYING AT NOVOTEL MUMBAI JUHU BEACH?

NURSERY REGISTRATION ALREADY!

2010-05-11T22:24:00.002+01:00

Nursery Registration.......Yes, you heard it right........we have to get the unborn babies on the Nursery waiting list for next year!

SURROGACY FRIENDSHIPS

2010-04-21T21:45:00.002+01:00

So many words get spoken.........So many joys and pains are shared.......So many of us seek advice from one another........yet in most instances we have not met in person. The Surrogacy Journey is amazing at how it creates a common bond amongst strangers.

Thanks to all of you who have left comments as a means of support!

Thanks to those who have sent personal e-mails!

Thanks to those of you who are are now our cycle buddies and running a parallel pregnancy.....November here we come!

Thanks for continuing to read our Blog and providing that cushion of support!

8 Weeks.......and growing!

2010-04-18T11:05:00.002+01:00

We have reached 8 weeks and 98% of the pregnancy seems to be going well...

Two Separate Gestation Sacs
Good Choriodecidual Reaction
Two Separate Yolk Sac
Two Strong Heartbeats

CRL 1 17.2mm 8 weeks 1 Day

CRL 2 16.3mm 8 weeks

As you can see the pregnancy continues to grow, however there is a subchorionic collection.

Ms. M, our Surrogate has been put on bed rest and hopefully this will assist with a continued good pregnancy.

Referring to Dr. Google causes you to panic for a few minutes, but then as you research further you find that subchorionic collection can be quite normal in IVF pregnancies.

Our eyes are on Will and Michael who are running parallel to us and seem to have experienced the same development within the same time frame of their pregnancy.....and yes they are progressing well.

So for now, we just hope for the best!

2nd Beta.......3rd Beta.........and Finally!

2010-03-29T09:29:00.005+01:00

Juggling numbers in a pregnancy is no fun when you are trying to equate to a baby or babies.....

Therefore we have been sitting on our beta numbers for a few days and here they are: -

2nd beta test - (17dpt) - 1946

3rd beta test - (20dpt) - 5166

remember our first beta test was - (14dpt) - 595

Ultra Sound Scan clearly show two defined gestational sacs - TWINS!

THE REPORT READS:

Two separate gestation sac noted in the uterine cavity with good choriodecidual reaction and fetal poles within. Two separate yolk sac.

Measurements:

1- 1.4mm

2 - 1.3mm

However one Sac is larger than the other, so hoping that there is some rapid growth

We have a long way to go still......next step being two heartbeats.

In the meantime, we have two Daddies and two wee ones!

1st BETA NUMBERS ARE IN........

2010-03-20T09:05:00.004Z

The morning started with a missed call from Dr. Yash, who left a voice message asking if we could call her........

Initial thoughts........why didn't she leave the results? why is there a need to call her? Literally, there was no indication as to whether Ms. M, our surrogate mother had a positive or negative pregnancy.

So, we call Dr. Yash back who so calmly tells us that the results are in and the Beta's are 595!

Yes, we have a strong POSITIVE PREGNANCY!

Trying to interpret the Beta numbers is impossible, so we'll wait to see what the numbers jump to and results of the Ultra Sound Scan!

THANKS FOR ALL THE BABY DUST THAT WAS SPRINKLED.........HOPEFULLY, MS. M, will have a successful pregnancy!

WHERE IS YOUR WIFE?

2010-03-08T20:26:00.002Z

Dr. Sudhir had suggested a Skype call with our surrogate (Ms. M) today. However I thought it was just a bit to early as the embryo transfer had just taken place yesterday......

What do we say? We just don't know at this point!

Ms. M, does not speak English, so of course a translator will always be needed. But I have to laugh, as when I first met her in Mumbai, I was on my own. One of her questions was:

"WHERE IS YOUR WIFE?"

Thrown just a little of guard by the question, I thought I would leave it to the SI team to explain to her!

Ms. M, we wish you well as you endure this journey with us......and by all means catch the babydust that is being thrown our way!

Embryo Update

2010-03-08T20:21:00.002Z

Dr. Yash has added her view to the matter of the Embryos and has advised that the 3 Embryos that were being cultured to the Blastocyst stage were not of a good enough condition.....therefore they have arrested (died).

So as it stands:

3 Embryos Transferred

3 Embryos Frozen

and

back to the 2 WW.

EMBRYO TRANSFER

2010-03-08T10:09:00.004Z

So, yesterday was the 'DAY'.........

We had 6 eggs fertilize to an excellent quality........we have 3 embryos that are being grown to blastocyst stage (giving them the ultimate chance) and we lost 1

As a result of all of that: 3 eggs were transferred, 3 have been frozen and as said 3 growing to Blastocyst stage.

The possibilities with BLASTOCYST: 1, 2 or 3 may develop to a quality that gives for a viable pregnancy.

If 1 grows, then we can consider doing a Blastocyst transfer in addition to the 3 that have already been transferred.

If 2 and 3 grow as well they can be frozen, or nature may take it's toll and they may be arrested.

In one great big breath.........WE ARE PROGRESSING!

The two week wait is here........

Sprinkle the 'BABYDUST'!

Simply Eggs!

2010-03-07T01:14:00.003Z

We are progressing........On Friday the ED provided us with 15 eggs.........

10 Mature & 5 Immature!

UNDERSTANDING YOUR BETA's

2010-02-28T16:53:00.002Z

The hormone human chorionic gonadotropin (better known as hCG) is produced during pregnancy. It is made by cells that form the placenta, which nourishes the egg after it has been fertilized and becomes attached to the uterine wall. Levels can first be detected by a blood test about 11 days after conception and about 12 - 14 days after conception by a urine test. In general the hCG levels will double every 72 hours. The level will reach its peak in the first 8 - 11 weeks of pregnancy and then will decline and level off for the remainder of the pregnancy.

In a bout 85% of normal pregnancies, the hCG level will double every 48 - 72 hours. As you get further along in pregnancy and the hCG level gets higher, the time it takes to double can increase to about every 96 hours.
An hCG level of less than 5mIU/ml is considered negative for pregnancy, and anything above 25mIU/ml is considered positive for pregnancy.
A single hCG reading is not enough information for most diagnoses. When there is a question regarding the health of the pregnancy, multiple testings of hCG done a couple of days apart give a more accurate assessment of the situation.

Beep Beep....Update Time!

2010-02-27T18:26:00.002Z

So we have managed to get back on track............

The ED is going through her cycle and reached the stage of follicle growth.......however the follicles are growing slowly.....

Therefore as soon as they have reached about 20mm in growth, we can have that all important egg retrieval.

SO MUCH FOR A SI DIVA DONOR!

Hopefully next week sometime this will happen.....

Stay tuned!

Congrats to Shannon & Geoff who are now pregnant!

TRUST is Slipping!

2010-02-15T13:59:00.004Z

I have this niggle of mis-trust of SI at the back of my head which I am trying to work around.......

In January, there was a problem with both my Egg Donor and Surrogate.....both had to be changed...... I put this down to human nature taking its toll.

Of course the planned trip to Mumbai went ahead......as basically all I needed to do was the paperwork formalities, meet the surrogate and leave a donation.

Seems easy right......so from that point I expect that the Doctor will update the surrogacy cycle schedule.

No, I had to repeatedly ask for this! A bit odd!

I get the schedule and it all seems ok, so I follow along with the dates where things are happening with the Surrogates and ED.

Then today, I ask for an update and the Doctor tells me that they are waiting for things to happen that should have happened 3 or 4 days ago......then he is vague on everything else.

I ask for dates and he cannot give!

This is rocking the 50/50 trust that I have had......and my gut instinct is leading the way.

This just doesn't feel good! What do we do?

The Four......YES FOUR! Week Wait.

2010-02-11T21:15:00.003Z

If all goes well, in four weeks time, we should know whether or not we have a successful pregnancy. March 10th 2010.

But, I have to say it is an emotional roller coaster of a journey that takes its toll. One minute you're on a high (particularly when you read of all the successful pregnancies & births that are happening)

Then it comes crashing down from simply being impatient!

Oh well......what can we do....but wait!

Back At Home! Stay tuned!

2010-02-02T19:28:00.004Z

It feels so good to be back at home..............SO SO GOOD!

There won't be any further baby news until March! Unless the Egg Donor or Surrogate interrupt the journey.....

Stay Tuned!

MEN 2 MEN ADVICE - The Semen Collection!

2010-01-27T16:49:00.003Z

There was nothing that could have prepared me for what was to come in the Semen Collection Room at the Lilavati Hospital.

The room is located right in the IVF clinic on the second floor and is clearly sign posted ' SEMEN COLLECTION ROOM'.

Step into a very basic room, that has a bed and a toilet (bathroom for some of you). The first thing that you notice is the very strong smell of spice.....not a pleasant smell when you are trying to think about delivering a good sample.

The walls were dirty, the linen on the bed filthy and the toilet un-describable......simply put, this room was dingy!

This is a stark contrast compared to the rest of the hospital which appears highly hygienic.

You will definitely need some porn to get you mentally stimulated........

The best advice I can give is to take a magazine or two....or upload some clips on your IPOD.

This will help in trying to stop yourself thinking about touching the bed, walls, blocking out the smell and anything else grotesque in the room.

Be prepared!

A Ray Of Sunshine!

2010-01-25T18:43:00.002Z

I started the morning off with a visit to the dentist! Ouch!

Late in the afternoon, I ventured off to meet Dr. Sudhir at his office which is right next to the maternity clinic...(almost an hour drive from the Novotel due to traffic)

But before I go any further.....for all of you that are pregnant. I saw a few of the pregnant surrogate mothers at the clinic today.....They looked RADIANT, HEALTHY and VERY HAPPY! One of them could have been your surrogate so I threw good luck their way!

First up was sorting out our new surrogate. Dr. Sudhir had a few choices of surrogates that met our requirements , the box got ticked on one of them and a meeting has been arranged for Wednesday. All fingers crossed on this one!

Dr. Sudhir then took time to discuss a few other bits and bobs.

Tomorrow is a holiday in India.....so perhaps Juhu Beach will be packed!

What a Day!

2010-01-24T15:38:00.003Z

I was dreading the 8 1/2 hour flight sitting at the back of the bus.......but my British Airways loyalty paid off and I was upgraded. Nice way to start this part of our life changing journey!

Arrived in Mumbai on time at 11:45am.....a quick whiz through Immigration & customs.....and then.......

I'm not sure how I survived the car journey, these folk drive in a frenzied manner.....cut in.....toot......weave out.....toot.....cut in......toot.

Tuk Tuks, Car, Motorbikes, Buses, Tractors, Animals and People all coming together to create traffic from hell.

After a short 15 - 20 min ride, I arrived at the Novotel Mumbai which is located right on Juhu Beach..(well it's no Miami beach or Bondi Beach)

The check-in was easy and in 5 mins I was sitting in my room.

The room is well appointed with a nice King Size Bed and Glass Shower Room. My window overlooks the entrance to the beach.

I would recommend the Novotel Mumbai Juhu Beach!

Off to Dinner!

which divide

Off To India On Saturday!

2010-01-21T22:11:00.001Z

Over the past few weeks, we've been wondering if SI would pull through
in finding another Surrogate Mother that met our requirements. Big
Question! In the meantime preparations were still being made to travel
to Mumbai, as the trip could not be cancelled or postponed.

Could this be a wasted journey?

Well, things look good as an e-mail arrived today from SI with not 1
but 3 possible surogates.

So my trip is not in vain and most likely we will cycle next month.

Looking forward to baby success once again.

Sent from my iPhone

ROAD BLOCK! ERRR...THIS IS NOT GOOD!

2010-01-08T23:59:00.005Z

I heard my phone ringing at 7:00am, but I was just coming out of dreamland so missed the call!

Jumped up eventually and it was Dr. Sudhir....

He was calling to tell us that it wasn't looking good for our chosen Surrogate as her Uterus Lining was not thickening as normally required (A (fairly) normal uterine cavity and endometrial lining are necessary in order to conceive and maintain a pregnancy).......of course this just stomped me!

How could this be? I thought to myself, better now for her to be medically unfit then when she is carrying the baby!

This means we now have to scramble for options......Wait to see if the Surrogate's condition improves (to be honest, we are not really feeling this option as her condition raises a red flag for a successful pregnancy)

Choose a new surrogate and wait to cycle again next month.

This is a complete roadblock and just throws my so called planning into turmoil!

Mixed emotions all around..........

Has anyone had a similar experience with their choosen surrogate and wish to comment?

Sprinkle The Baby Dust......Mumbai Here We Come!

2010-01-06T22:46:00.007Z

Mumbai Checklist

So I depart for Mumbai on the 23rd of January, which is just a few weeks away. I am so used to planning business and leisure trips for myself that in this first instance I just got on with it.

INDIAN VISA - issued in 3 days from the Indian Visa Centre. I got a bog standard tourist visa which is only valid for six months as they do not offer a year long visa. Therefore I will have to repeat the visa application process again in October (if successful pregnancy) for baby pickup.
FLIGHTS - Virgin, Air India, Jet Airways, Kingfisher, Emirates, British Airways and the list goes on.. Think I'll stick with British Airways out of loyalty! There is not a lot of difference in pricing for direct flights....a lay-over in the Middle East might have saved me some £££.
HOTEL - Novotel Mumbai Juhu Beach - Brand new property from the reputable French Hotel Group Accor. Their rates seem to be the most reasonable. If I am honest, hotel rates in Mumbai are not moderate compared to other Asian countries. (Hotel Review to come later.)

Now I just need to pack and relax!

UK LEGALITIES............

2009-12-30T23:43:00.004Z

This is an open query to all those in SURROGACY WORLD......

Here it goes:

Same Sex Relationships are not recognized in Indian law; therefore in our situation the surrogacy agreement will be between one of us as a single male and the surrogate who so happens to be a widow. (This help with automatic citizenship for the newborn, as the surrogate has no husband, meaning that one of us will be deemed the biological father, therefore giving the baby right to British Citizenship). Under UK Law the Surrogate Mother is deemed the Legal Mother; however under Indian Law the Surrogate Mother is not deemed as the Legal Mother. As a result of the Indian Law, only the Fathers name will appear on the baby's birth certificate.

Question for anyone that has been this route before:

What would be the process for registering the child birth with the British High Commission and also making application for a British Passport if the surrogate mothers name is absent on the Indian birth certificate?

I know that the UK Law is changing on April 6th, 2010 which will then allow two male parents to be shown on a child's birth certificate, but in the meantime I am trying to see if anyone has info.

Thank you!!

Baby Boom 2010!

2009-12-29T19:23:00.002Z

It really is great to keep reading of all the positive pregnancies. Wishing everyone the best of luck in 2010! In exactly 4 weeks time we too shall be having that all important embryo transfer! So we hope to share good news with everyone in early January!

Happy Holidays!

2009-12-24T22:11:00.003Z

FROM OUR CORNER IN THE GLOBE.......
WE WANT TO WISH EVERYONE A JOYOUS FESTIVE SEASON!

“The best Christmas of all is the presence of a happy family all wrapped up with one another.”

EGG DONOR VANISHES!

2009-12-16T18:55:00.003Z

Received an email today from Dr. Sudhir saying BAD NEWS.......

It appears that the Egg Donor that we have chosen has disappeared! Maybe she changed her mind, got scared or whatever else. We are glad, that she did this in the initial stages rather than have started the process and not shown when egg retrieval day came. So we had to go back and select another ed and this time opted for the DIVA DONOR (Egg Donors who are more of a premium due to higher levels of education & employment).

So with the new egg donor selected it looks like the trip to Mumbai will take place in the latter part of January for Egg Retrieval, Sperm Donation, Embryo Creation & Transfer. Yipeeeeeee!

Flights are relatively cheap on in-direct routes, but we'll explore the options over Xmas. Hopefully BA will need to have a seat-sale to recover customer loyalty following the proposed Cabin Crew industrial strikes.

THE SURROGATE

2009-12-04T21:50:00.002Z

After much deliberation, the Surrogate has been choosen! To be honest the selection really is about going with your gut instinct.........as what you see on the paper bio may not be reality....or perhaps I'm better off saying that it would be nice to meet and see the surrogate before making a final decision.

I guess some may resemble the process similiar to Internet Dating!

Now that the Egg Donor and Surrogate have been choosen....the next step is for SI to coordinate a syncing cycle for both and a travel date to Mumbai for us.

Most likely this won't happen until January....

...........STAY TUNED

Egg Donor Chosen!

2009-12-03T22:11:00.004Z

Egg Donor selection was not that difficult.......we read through the bio's taking into account everything from age to the number of children they had and also the number of times they had been an egg donor...

It would be difficult to say that we overlooked the physical appearance of the donor...this was an important factor as well.

The good news is that we have locked down our egg donor!

It hasn't been easy in choosing the Surrogate as we had specific requirements for our Surrogate Mother. To be honest Surrogacy India has not provided a huge selection of surrogate choices and what they have provided only 2 fit our requirements. Slightly disappointed with this!!

We are really not prepared to take whoever is thrown at us as a Surrogate and we are hoping that a better selection of Surrogates become available in the next few days.

Fingers Crossed!

SURROGACY LAW UK - THE FUTURE!

2009-12-01T22:15:00.001Z

Of all the prospective parents conceiving through assisted reproduction, those in surrogacy arrangements often face the most difficult legal issues. The surrogate and usually also her husband will be treated as the child's legal parents at birth, leaving the commissioning parents with no legal connection with their child whatsoever, even where both are the biological parents.

There is a special remedy available called a parental order. This is an order made by the family courts which reassigns parenthood after surrogacy, extinguishing the responsibility of the surrogate parents and transferring it to the commissioning couple. The process takes place post-birth: the application must be made within the first six months of the child's life (though the surrogate's consent is ineffective until after the first six weeks) and typically takes many months to be processed by the courts. At present, only married couples can apply, but as from 6 April 2010, unmarried and same sex couples will also be eligible.

The Department of Health (DH) is currently consulting on new draft regulations which prescribe the detail of this court process, and which will replace existing regulations that have been in place since 1994. The consultation closes on 23 November.

What is in the draft regulations?

Like the existing regulations, the proposed revised regulations apply provisions of adoption law to the parental order application process, setting out court procedure and giving a surrogate child broadly the same legal status as an adopted child. Adoption law has itself been overhauled substantially in recent years, and this is reflected in the wording of the new regulations. However, as part of the general updating, there are some important revisions being made to the existing parental order system which need to be looked at carefully.

For example, a court considering whether to grant an adoption order now has to first consider the 'welfare checklist', a prescriptive list of considerations which includes ascertaining the child's wishes and feelings and considering his or her relationship with the birth family. The new parental order regulations incorporate this checklist into the parental order process. However, it does not seem appropriate for the court to have to address all these issues in surrogacy cases, given that the child will inevitably be less than six months old, and will be already living with the applicants (at least one of whom is his or her biological parent).

Importing the new adoption law without amendment fails to adequately take account of the special nature of surrogacy arrangements, and there may be a risk that this could make the process of applying for a parental order even more onerous than before. While a parental order is similar to an adoption order (in the sense that it transfers legal parenthood from one person to another), surrogacy is very different from adoption. Because a surrogate child (or at least those to which parental orders can apply) is biologically connected to at least one of the commissioning parents and is almost invariably in their care from birth, the dynamic of the family is perhaps closer to donor conception than to adoption. Adapting adoption law is therefore a difficult task, and one which we think could be handled more carefully by the regulations.

The parental order system

Even though a more fundamental review may not be within the power of these regulations, it seems impossible to look at any legislation relating to parental orders without making the point that the whole system is problematic. Parental orders were introduced as a late amendment to the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Act 1990 in response to a specific surrogacy case. At the time, surrogacy was viewed as very rare and something which occurred largely on the fringes of the law and ethical acceptability. The 1990 rules on legal parenthood clearly prioritised donor conception (making the carrying mother the legal mother, and her husband the legal father), and parental orders were designed as a limited remedy - a 'sticking plaster' - in respect of the awkward application of legal parenthood rules in surrogacy situations.

As all those working in this field know, things have changed radically since then. Surrogacy as a form of fertility treatment has blossomed, both in the UK and abroad, and no longer affects just a small number of altruistic inter-family arrangements. Indeed, the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Act 2008 itself has endorsed this, by legalising non-profit making surrogacy agencies like Surrogacy UK and COTS and extending the categories of couples eligible to apply for parental orders. We are also seeing growing numbers of fertility patients travelling abroad for surrogacy, which brings even more complex legal challenges.

The current system, which came about by historical accident rather than a concerted policy decision, fails to meet this increased demand, and is inadequate from almost every perspective. The surrogate and her husband (who, in the vast majority of cases do wish to surrender the child) remain legally and financially responsible for the child for up to a year after the birth, and may have no legal redress against intended parents who refuse to assume responsibility. The intended parents often have no status in respect of their child for many months, including no right to make decisions or to consent to immunisations, no right to transmit inheritance or citizenship rights automatically and the intending mother has no rights to maternity leave (though this is the subject of another current campaign), leaving children very vulnerable during the early months of their lives.

The system is not an effective guardian of public policy against commercial surrogacy, since the check on payments comes at the end the process (by which time any payments have already been made) and the only sanction available to the court is a refusal to grant an order, which is almost impossible to enforce since this would prejudice the welfare of a newborn child. And, most importantly of all, these problems mean that surrogate children lack even basic protection. The problems are highlighted most starkly in foreign surrogacy cases. For example, in the landmark case of Re X and Y (foreign surrogacy) [2008], the law left surrogate twins born abroad to a British couple stateless and parentless. Such children risk being abandoned to foreign state care in the absence of complex and expensive legal intervention - surely this is an outcome which the law has an obligation to avoid at all costs.

We need a better and more planned approach to surrogacy. Of course, there are difficult and sensitive issues to be handled in creating new law. Surrogacy arrangements are among the most ethically and humanly complex in assisted reproduction, with three or even four adults involved throughout the process of conception, pregnancy and birth, and possibly third party gamete donors as well. The respective interests, protection and independence from exploitation of all these adults and, most importantly, the resulting child, need to be adequately balanced and protected by the law.
It is disappointing that such issues were not properly addressed during the government's overhaul of assisted reproduction law last year. Although the Minister indicated that surrogacy was a sensitive issue which would be looked at separately, no firm commitment for this review, or a date, has yet been set - and it seems, given the current 'status' of surrogacy - odd to continue treating it separately. In order to ensure that our law can cope with the demands of modern surrogacy practice, and to ensure that vulnerable children are protected, we urge the government to take a fresh look, not only at the regulations, but at the law itself.

By Natalie Gamble and Louisa Ghevaert
Partners with specialist fertility law firm Gamble and Ghevaert LLP (www.gambleandghevaert.com)

Egg Donors & Surrogates

2009-12-01T19:11:00.004Z

Ok, so this morning we received an e-mail from the SI team with a selection of egg donors and surrogates.....there was a bit of excitement because this part in the reality of surrogacy was in front of us.

It looks like the evening will be spent looking through pics and reading bios....Do we really know what we are looking for in an egg donor and surrogate mother?

Yes, we have our balanced scorecard ready for this life changing experience!

How long will it take us to make a decision....1 hour, 2 hours, 4 hours, 24 hours or 48 hours? We will not rush it; it's like baking a cake, you've got to make sure you've got all the right ingredients!

Happy Birthday!

2009-11-27T20:49:00.001Z

So today I'm celebrating that last Birthday before the Big 40!! I am hoping that next year this time, I will have a little one at hand to help celebrate the milestone!

Which Agency?

2009-11-26T00:24:00.002Z

After some time researching for the most suitable agency to complete this surrogacy journey.............we have decided to go with Surrogacy India.

Why?

From the outset SI has deemed itself to be professional and knowledgeable.

We had a specific request in the status of the surrogate that we were looking to carry our baby and SI were happy to oblige this request. THIS WAS A BIG PLUS!

There has been constant dialog, answering questions that I sometimes thought were stupid.

Requested Medical Checks.......Another Big Plus!

The Days are still early in working with Surrogacy India but I am hoping that we will have a successful working relationship!

More Test Agony!

2009-11-20T22:50:00.000Z

I thought it would be easy to get a Blood Group Type Test.......Hell No! My Doctor calls to tell me that I can't have a Blood Group Type Test as I requested, unless there is something medically wrong with me! (There is nothing medically wrong with me...all I am trying to do is make a baby) I call a private hospital to have it done as he suggested only to be told that I need to be referred by my GP.

This is like paddling a canoe without a paddle!

I am so glad the weekend is here, so I can chill out!

1st Headache of 1000's

2009-11-17T18:42:00.000Z

Ok, so I start the week off by going to do all the little STD test that have been requested.....Well in fact a bit more as the clinic gave me a complete STD screen. Only thing is one of the test requested from the Dr's in India could not be done. I scratched my head in puzzlemenet as the clinic Doctor explained that the test was not a necessity. Later that afternoon, I thought let me do the ring around and try to get this CMV Test done. To my amazement, no one would do it. Still determined, I called the Hospital for Tropical Diseases, certain that I would get my way. The Doctor's there carefully explained that to have the CMV test done, I would need to have a sexual health diease and be referred by my own GP. Well, as I have no STD's, I can't get the test done!

This is a clear case of West meets East or East meets West in the medical field!

.......also my boys went to the Lab just fine! Results back in a week!

No one said it would be easy!

2 Days of Sexual Abstinence

2009-11-13T22:02:00.000Z

Well, it time to see if my boys can swim!

In two days time I have an appointment with the hospital lab to do all the SEMEN test that are required as the donating parent, which means abstaining from all sexual activity for that period!

Lets see if my boys are good enough for the 2012 Olympics Swimming Team!

1st Post

2009-11-12T20:29:00.000Z

Almost this time last year, hard thoughts fell on how we as a same sex male couple would achieve parenthood. After 9 years of being together, we had to come up with something!

We looked at adoption and slowly talked about it........somewhere in the back of our minds surrogacy came into play but then just filtered it's self out again.

In Jan 2009, we met with the Social Worker from the Black Adoption Team of a well established adoption agency based in London. She gave us positive pointers and we left the meeting upbeat.

However, just after 4 weeks along came a hurdle that we had to cross.......Reveal our Sexuality to the world! (well almost).

To this day, the hurdle still sits in our way of adoption......

12 Months later and surrogacy crept back to the front of our minds.....We picked up from the research we had done previously and began casting our eye over the numerous agencies in India. We looked at the established ones and then the new emerging ones...to say the least it's been a hit and miss.

We think we have narrowed our choice down to one agency now and we have begun further talks on the application process.

So here it goes, our 1st step to parenthood via Surrogacy in India.

We'll, hopefully take you on the journey with us.........now sit back and throw your support our way!

~2 Afro Dads~